Disagreement is refreshing when two men lovingly desire to compare their views to find out truth. Controversy is wretched when it is only an attempt to prove another wrong. Religious controversy does only harm. It destroys humble inquiry after truth, and throws all the energies into an attempt to prove ourselves right – a spirit in which no man gets at truth.

– Frederick W. Robertson

I don’t always follow this myself, but I should. When disagreements get nasty no one learns anything.  When someone lords their intelligence over another like a cobra ready to strike, they often get so put off that they quit listening. Whenever possible apologetics should be done like two old friends sitting down for a cup of coffee.